The Library
May 28, 2012 12:01:32 GMT -8
Post by zoi on May 28, 2012 12:01:32 GMT -8
[About]
While a library is definitely something you'd find in the Third Division, this library is considered more of an OOC section of it. What you'll find here are a few different sections that any member of AK can contribute to, such as a fanfiction section for those of you that like to make up your own twist on existing series (you can also write AK fanfiction for this as well), an IC history section for those of you who wish to elaborate on your histories or specific events, a regular fiction section for those of you who enjoy writing your own stories, and a poetry section for people who take part in that.[IC Histories]
All you have to do to have your work submitted is PM it to me. You can choose to be anonymous, use a pen name, your site name, or your actual name. As with all things on AK, it must follow the content rules; no graphic description of things such as gore and the like, no heavy use of drugs or drinking, no sexual encounters or generally explicit details. Also, do not try to use this section to insult other members or their characters. If someone has an issue with their character being used in a fanfiction or elaboration of history, I will remove it upon their request. If I feel that your work breaks or pushes any of the rules, I can and will deny it.
[Fanfiction][Fiction]Author: Tanaka Mai
The pile of letters was resting on the desk. They were disheveled, as though they had been dumped and forgotten. Some were thicker than others, and some only the merest scraps of whatever parchment could be found. The majority of them, however, were of one or two pages, some of which were so well-worn that either the recipient or author had vested so much time into reading, holding close, or writing.
A fire smoldered in the pit on the far side of the room, bits of parchment furling about along its edges. Had the writings been on their way to the great library in the sky, and these few, by assumed comparison, deemed much too important to let go? Their positioning would certainly suggest as much, though why the girl wouldn’t have taken them with her when she left was up in the air.
The child in question, all angst and attitude was reorganizing her private cell, as she saw it, for the eighth time that week. She had come across the stack of letters the very first time through, and had only now decided that they could go away. That they should go away. She was young and much too sentimental, however, and had no choice but to reread them; they were hers, why should she not?
That first night, her candle burned low as she reread them, over and over. Oh, how sweet they were, how young she was, how they made her feel. Nestled in her corner, the youngest of the Tanaka clan wept silently as her young mind fled the constraints of reality and broke into the realm of imagination. Her stick flew across the only empty bit of parchment she could find, her very soul bleeding onto the paper....Under the stars and moon...
The following nights, much the same occurred, though that initial wave of emotion had long since subsided. Like an addict, she hid her stash from any prying eyes (there were none) and securely barred herself within her cell. It was euphoric, her own brand of heroin, taking her away to secret places.
Oh, S!
Last night, she had come to the realization that she needed to get rid of them, hide them. They could not be seen by anyone’s eyes, not even hers. With the sunrise, and her father’s customary departure, Mai too rose from bed and broke from her cell. She quietly padded in her bare feet to the kitchen and peeked out through the curtain; yes, he was well down the road now!
With a victorious smirk playing at the corners of her mouth, she quickly returned to her quarters and reemerged with her stash. She went in the opposite direction, toward the common area, where a fire was always burning, assuming her father tended it before he left and when he returned. “Old man can’t bear the cold,” she muttered as she turned in the doorway; yes the fire was burning, and no, she did not realize this was for her benefit. The cold winter air seeped through the very core of the house and drained it of all its lively energy...what little there was, at that.
She pulled up a cushion and sat down next to the pit cross-legged and, one by one, began to throw the letters into the flames, watching with sad eyes as parts of her burned away. A particular one caught her eye, and she set it aside; maybe this one could stay, then another, and another, until eventually, she had eight or nine sheets set aside. They were the most recent, the most real, and she could not bear to see them go.
A tap at the window drew her from her reverie as the rest of the letters burned away into nothingness, hours later. She rose gingerly, unfurling her sleepy frame, and stepped over to the window, dropping her stack of saved letters on the empty desk. She peered every which way, finally catching sight of the yellow bird dancing from branch to branch of the naked willow. Lost in this beauty, she didn’t realize that the lock had clicked and the door had opened.
She whorled about and ran to her room, where she immediately began doing something else to remove any doubts about any suspicious behaviors she had been doing. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Nope.
*-*
“Father, you’re hurting me...!” Mai exclaimed for the dozenth time as her father hauled her down the streets. Her feet struggled to keep pace with his strong, sure strides; the first time she had lagged, right outside their home, he had jerked her forward by the wrist and secured his grip about her delicate elbow. The pace had been relentless ever since. ”Please!”Author: Saikokui Kurisuna
As Malik took a sip from his cup, Kurisuna, too, began serving herself, pinching the sides of half the nigiri sushi displayed upon the table one at a time between a pair of ivory chopsticks. She deposited each upon a rectangular plate, sighing lightly as he spoke, for she'd failed to come up with anything worth sharing. The woman eyed a sliver of octopus topping a bed of rice dejectedly, jabbed it a few times, and then slipped it between her lips.
When the Soutaichou spoke again, prattling with what was, to her, venomous sarcasm concerning her attitude, Kurisuna looked up from her plate with a bored, unimpressed scowl; he was not about to gain the upper hand with such petty pleasantries! But then, Malik went on to mention their distant past, and the olden days did not constitute a time she wished to recall for whatever purpose, for reasons she was not entirely clear on herself. Kurisuna was knowledgeable on the history of many things, but her own was elusive, fragmented, and at times plainly nonexistent, a figment her memory failed to recollect. One hand balled into a loose fist upon the tabletop, but she nonetheless told him: ''Yes, I remember.''
Her mouth gaped as if to add onto what she'd said, but a light tremor caught her attention more so than the sharpening stone Malik had kept on his person. Propping her elbow beside her plate, Kurisuna put cheek to palm and gave a knowing groan as she felt a mild headache develop; she did not so much as shift to better regard the tumult's origin as it rapidly approached, the quaking intensifying, until Kiba finally burst out and barrelled toward the pair in all his waterlogged splendour. For a moment, there was no reaction from her; she sat still, unshakably stoic, even as her fellow Taichou neared the table and released from his burlap sack a deluge of fish. One of them had thrown itself a little too close, and a little too high—roughly level with the table, and Kiba's abdomen.
Kurisuna bolted from her seat. She spun, drawing back her left foot, fingers clasped around the hilt. Then, bending lightly at the knees, she unsheathed her katana in a singular Nuki-uchi, and sliced the creature from head to tail tip. Had Kiba remained motionless, the bladed edge would've no doubt swept quite close; a foot or so from his midsection, which, alas, would remain disastrously unscathed. ''Oh... oh, god, I'm so sorry,'' Kurisuna exclaimed with mock concern as things seemed to dawn on her, at least until she spoke again, this time in a bland monotone. ''I eviscerated the wrong animal.''Author: Tanaka Mai
Swept along by the crowd of Shinigami, Mai soon found herself irrevocably lost. Her first foray into the Rukongai had nearly ended in her demise, and for half a century, or thereabouts, she had yet to return for fear of history repeating itself. She had no mind for maps, or even the simple task of maintaining one's orientation, and soon felt herself working into a massive mess of anxiety; hopefully soon, really soon, something would happen to give her a task to focus on.
As they milled about, waiting for orders or some other such hint as to what was going on - all she had heard was talk of some violent offender wreaking havoc throughout the third district - she caught the whiff of decay; her sheltered upbringing had seen her mature with a very unmolested olfaction, and even as a child she had been sensitive to scents. She had smelled death and decay before, in both personal and professional aspects of her life, and as such wasn't as taken back by it as a casual onlooker might have assumed -- the blanched face and the wall-eyed look of panic were due to the girl's own emotions. Jerkily, she glanced around, looking for anyone familiar to attach herself to and follow around for the allusion of order; her panic level rose as she saw no one she could immediately recognize.
The thought that her father might be around raced over her mind; he hadn't healed as quickly as she had hoped, to both their dismay. She had heard, however, of the Chiyudo not working as well on a family member or a person of an aged quality. Whether that was true, she hadn't thought to have asked Harupia, she was unsure -- it was better than the alternative that had been plaguing her mind for the past several nights. Wondering if she had damaged her father was tormenting her to her very core.
Not that she'd ever let him know that was the cause of her nighttime distresses.
The crowd surged forward again, snapping Mai from her internal reverie and forcing her to return her focus to the present: an invasion of an unknown entity. Not one to be left behind, she went forward, hoping that someone ahead would belong to a familiar face. If she just held out, she would make it, she would find someone.... Ears straining through the howling of the wind, she managed to catch a familiar voice over the drone of the crowd; with rejuvenated vigor, she wove through the crowd in the direction of Harupia's voice. Relief washed off her frame in waves as she spotted other members of her division; how she managed to get separated was beyond her, but now she was with people she knew, by some definition. Now, all she needed was her taichou, and a job. She could probably do without knowing what was giving off that stench -- the only thing worse than the scent of decay was the scent of decay coming in bursts.Author: Shuchiku Kiba
Walking, Kiba decided, sucked. Or at least, walking with legs torn open sucked - it made one consider obtaining a cart to haul them from place to place, but then, that lead to complacency, and complacency lead to unreadiness, and Kiba was anything but unready, except for the unexpected. Despite claims, one couldn't so easily expect the unexpected, even the more predictable unexpecteds, such as treacherous females and their attempts at random petty acts of one-upsmanship.
All along the trek to the Second Division, Kiba considered warning Shigeo about the Third Taicho - after all, he was associated with Kiba, and that might be all the excuse the other Taicho needed - but he thought better of it quick enough. After all, Shigeo was a careful person, that much at least Kiba knew of him, and anyways, he had his own relation to the Taicho that would probably provide him insight on when to cut his presence short within the walls of the Third.
So with a nod, Kiba smiled to his former Fukutaicho and offered the giant man thanks once again, this time actually sincere in his actions. "I've got it from here, Shigemitsu-san. Thank you kindly."
It was almost regrettable there was so little to be said, but really, Kiba's legs were throbbing in pain, and having that taken care of was rapidly ascending the ranks in 'things Kiba is thinking of' the closer her got to actually attending the matter. So with a grunt, Kiba set off again through the threshold of the Second Division, and found his way rapidly into the reception area, a place to which Kiba was hardly a stranger.
It hardly seemed strange, he supposed, a man shambling in with both legs torn fairly evenly along the shins - he'd at least managed to tear the dangling shreds of the leggings of his hakama away, to prevent them sticking within the wounds - and so he provided the first body he saw a smile and wave to catch their attention. "Not to be rude, but if I could get something to lay on, I'd be appreciative."
As always, Kiba's voice was loud, primarily because he projected well; he wanted the request to be far reaching, ideally to hasten the acquisition of said anything to take the pressure off his legs. Oh how those treacherous poles did revile him for their use... but really, it would have been so odd to see Kiba trying to drag himself from the Rukon to the Second, wouldn't it? No, definitely better to haul himself around on aching legs; they were only flesh wounds, after all!Author: Hasegawa Hotaru
Hotaru refrained from rolling her eyes. She wasn't the sort of person who got pissy with her patients, especially when they outranked her. Still, she was forming a stereo type concerning the man and it was a bothersome one. He was one of those typical warrior type personalities who denied there was anything wrong with them to the point of passing out from blood loss. Such phrases entered her mind that such a man might utter as she fell into a sort of day dream to entertain herself while she led the Soutaichou and his entourage of Daughter and new pet down the hall to his examining room.
Yes, there he would be on the field of battle, out front of course, brandishing his Zanpakutō the fabled 'what's it's name' of legend, and shouting commands left and right ignoring each and every wound he had sustained. His voice would be heard ringing out over the din of the melee stunning both friend and foe, "Bring up more reinforcements! Try to keep up while I carve a path through the horde. For Seireitei and Glory!!" About that time in the day dream his man, Zane, would rush forward to try and talk some sense into him. "But Cap'in. We're givin' it all we've got! I dinna how mooch longer we kin hold out!" Still, the warriors of the Gotei 5 would somehow manage to cripple forward behind their warrior king for shame of being left behind and branded cowards in the eyes of the man they all idolized. A strange look would cross her face as in her daydream, Zane had the oddest accent.
Her private interlope into the fantastical life of denial her patient led didn't halt there but continued with additional actors in the dream; namely the man's two daughters. There would be much wailing and pulling of hair and garments by the two women as they plead with their delusional father. Mai of course would be making a plea based upon his injuries pointing out the loss of his dominant arm, this having been hacked off above the elbow, while Chie would be apologizing for interrupting his battle cry with her objections for his continued participation in the battle due to all the blood he had lost. The Soutaichou would strike a pose, much like the hero in a Kabuki Theatre whilst making his soliloquy.
"What matter the loss of limb and blood, fair maidens, in the face of these villains who dare to threaten our very way of life? Would you see me carted off to the sick room while even one of our brave comrades in arms gives of his life to ensure my safety? What honor is there in growing old and feeble when there is glory to be had upon this field today? What profit is in survival if even one hair upon the head of our people is threatened? Besides, I am ambidextrous!" The fabled warrior would then rush off into the horde and all that could be seen from the vantage points of those three who would see him to safety was a gruesome carnage of body parts being hacked off left and right; some chunks flew into the air with a trail of blood spray following behind in an arc as the warrior went into a frenzied whirlwind attack.
She stood at the door to the examining room with a bit of a grin upon her lips gesturing for her patient to enter as her daydream wrapped up with a final scene. This time she placed herself into the plot standing over the man as he spit challenges to his retreating foe. His wounds, of course would be gruesome to the point of the ridiculous having somehow lost all four of his limbs at this point. "Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off! " Muttering something about a flesh wound, she would place one of those self-adhesive bandages she was experimenting with over the end of his severed limbs and smile- yes, all better now.
She blinked slightly and focused upon the here and now, "Right in here, sir. Then we can see to those scratches and send you on your way again." Ah but yes, such was the private world of the Fukutaicho of the Second Division, and she shared none of this drivel with those around her.Author: Rip
He didn't go in for fancy words and flashy speeches. Rip liked that about him. Sengoku was a rough, rude, angry fellow. But he knew how to lead men. And he was pretty good at it. To be honest, the hermit wasn't all that interested in 'taking back' the Fourth. He lived there and, all things considered, did fairly well for himself. Specifically, he was still alive. But the concept intrigued him. The idea that the Citizens could work together in a fashion not unlike the Shinigami was something worth paying attention to.
He stood near the back. He wasn't much use in a fight. At least, in a fight where one participant didn't come out alive. A good old fashioned brawl, flesh on flesh, he could do that. Hold his own. But what the barkeep was talking about was more steel on flesh. Bloody work. Rip didn't even carry a blade. But no matter. He wasn't there to kill hollows. In fact, you survived in the Fourth by doing just that; not killing hollows. But then, why was he there?
To observe. That's what he told himself.
There were a lot of people in the bar. He recognized a few of them. It had been a while since he was last there, but he knew the regulars. He could help them. He knew the Fourth, probably better than most of the men here. He could act as a scout, a guide, something. Couldn't he? Maybe. That was dangerous thinking, though. Start by trying to help, then trying to save, then getting yourself killed. If you want to survive in the Fourth you have to understand one thing; you can only help yourself. Trying to be a hero is asking for a short life. There are no heroes in the Fourth.
And even if there were, heroes are just people who get other people killed.
He kept his mouth shut. He was only there to observe.
[Poetry]Author: "Tengen Toppa"
Genre: Short Novel; Fiction; Comedy
Title of the book: A Cat is fine too?
In the far off land called Neko no Kuni, a great evil sorceress lives, who plagues the land with her monsters, known by the people as Nekos. Why were they called Nekos you ask? Well, that is because they were named after the sorceress, Akujin Kuroneko. Kuroneko took the land by power from the former king, Seigi Shiroinu, killing him in cold blood and renaming the land from Inu no Kuni to Neko no Kuni. Wait, Wait, Wait, Wait. How did this all happen? Don't we need the story up to this point? ...fine! I'll give you the story.
Kuroneko hailed from another land that was known for sorcery and general bad-ness. But everyone was content with messing with each other. Kuroneko wasn't. As soon as she finished becoming a full-fledged sorecress, the first thing she did was... eat cake. You know, it's not every day you become a full-fledged sorceress. It was all for celebration! But the next thing she did... I tell you, it was one of the worst crimes in the country. She wore socks with sandals! ... what?! Don't look at me, I never made the rules. But for this crime, she was banished out of the country and into another country, known as Saikyou no Kuni. There, she met other people who wished for the same thing as her. What was that? ... I don't know.. The motive for Kuronekos evil kinda decayed. Who cares, right? ... Right? Kuroneko studied forbidden magic, such as the power to control other people, the making of beasts, and the horrible teachings of verbal tics. Soon, an army rose of mean beastly and bipedal tigers who all used horrible verbal tics, such as "-na-no!", "-Uu-u!","-nyowa" and the worst one of all... "-nya!"!
It was time Kuroneko made her move. To give herself a more intimidating name for the people, she added Akujin to the beginning. Now the time had come. She made her move. That damn dog was going to pay for what he did. It was time for.. the final showdown. But Shiroinu was no push over. He fought back with all his power. But in the end, Kuroneko proved to be the winner. And all hope was lost..
Anyway, that was the story about how my cat successfully teamed up with a bunch of stray cats from the street and beat up my poor dog Shiro.Author: Crazy
THE TALE OF THE DREAD PIRATE AZ
Once there was a well known pirate captain named Az. Az was a great captain who had raided many ships and was well liked by her crew due to the dental plan. She robbed from the rich and gave fringe benefits to the poor.
Now one day she was on her pirate ship and was flying through the air due to her casual disregard of the laws of gravity and physics. growing bored she began to lean over the side and spat on the people below before legging it over to the next town and repeating the process.
However disaster would soon strike, for one of Az's most gobbiest spits would land on the head of YUKA THE EVIL NAVY ADMIRAL WITH A HEART OF MIZ. Grumbling as he walked around with the spit on him, Yuka plotted, no, he CONSPIRED on how to take his revenge. When suddenly a wicked idea went through his evil admiral mind OF EVIL. Removing Miz, who was currently gnawing on his leg, and placing him back on his head to be his admiral hat, Yuka went onto his ADMIRAL PHONE OF EVIL and made a phonecall...OF EVIL.
Now as Az continued doing piratey things and handing out fringe benefits to the poor in exchange for helping her in robberies, she had no idea that danger was approaching...EVIL DANGER. However the danger soon attacked her flying pirate ship and in an instant all of her crewmen were tied up by shadows OF EVIL. Who could have done this dastardly thing some may ask. WHY IT WAS THE EVIL CAPTAIN MAL AND HIS FIRST MATE MIHA.
Grabbing her magical sword nunchuks OF PIRATENESS, Az shot out a rainbow which summoned ponies. These ponies began to chase miha around and ate the flesh FROM HIS VERY BONES OF EVIL.
Meanwhile Az fought Mal in and EPIC SWORDFIGHT OF EPICNESS. there was even a good soundtrack and a laser light show (complete with explosions and fireworks) going on in the background. However Az used her pirate skills OF PIRATENESS and with a swift kick to the shins, Az made Mal's head EXPLODE.
Having defeated the EVIL MAL, Az then earned the title of Dread Pirate Az. However Az knew that she must make the EVIL ADMIRAL YUKA pay for his actions. Steering her flying ship OF AWESOMENESS, Az bombarded YUKA'S PALACE OF EVIL ADMIRALNESS.
However Yuka was prepared, FOR HIS PALACE THEN TURNED INTO A GIANT ROBOT OF EVIL. Hitting the Collateral Damage mode on her own ship, Az's ship then turned into Grimlock and the ship then began to wrestle with the palace. However Grimlock was soon being overwhelmed when the EVIL YUKA called upon reinforcements in the form of the Opera House and the Bank.
It looked like it would all be over for our HEROES OF PIRATENESS and Yuka was giving his EVIL ADMIRAL LAUGH OF EVIL. However just as he was at his moment of triumph, Yukas eyes widened in suprise and he looked down to notice his EVIL ADMIRAL SABER OF EVILNESS had been driven through him.
Who could have done this you may ask? IT WAS MIZ! For he had heard of the Dread Pirate Az's Dental plan and had decided to join. Putting on an eyepatch and bandanna, Miz then hit the self destruct button and used the resulting explosion of the three buildings to surf onto Az's ship. Getting a warm welcome our HEROIC PIRATES then went out for ICE CREAM (which was covered under the dental plan).
The EndOnce upon a time there was a flugelhorn.
Now, this flugelhorn resided in a case.
The case and the flugelhorn inside were owned by a mysterious ninja.
This ninja's name was Robert.
Robert went down the road in a box with wheels.
He was on his way to the bank,
where he was to deposit some of his money.
It was there that he saw something he hadn't seen since Christmas.
It was a squirrel robbing the bank.
The dastardly fiend had taken to stealing due to the lack of cheese.
Luckily before he could carry out the deed the building was stormed by super fluffy bears!
The leader of the bears was none other than Sooty!
Sooty made everyone say his catch phrase, "Izzy Wizzy Let's Get Busy!" as he waved his magic candycane as he had lost his wand.
After that with the incantation of "Shucky Ducky quack quack" he would fire a magical sausage at the robber!
The robber turned out to be teleporting squirrel!
The squirrel disappeared from sight and reappeared at ten of two.
Behind him was none other than your childhood stuffed animal, the mastermind of the new hit tv show everyone started watching.
"How long has it been since we last fought dinosaurs?" the stuffed animal inquired.
"Five minutes," replied the squirrel.
"If only the flugelhorn had perfected quantum entanglement," pondered the plush.
"Then we could have had our barbecue sooner,"
replied the Ryback, who had just walked in.
For he was hungry for BACON, and he urged everyone present to FEED HIM MORE!
However they were out of brown sugar for the bacon.
Which is a shame cause Ryback liked candied bacon with his friends.
So what could they do? They all decided to go out in their jetpacks.
As they soared the skies they soon spied a pig farm.
But there was no good spot to land, so they crashed into a water tower.
As the liquid poured down on the farm, the pigs started to square dance in panic!
Surprised by the dancing pigs, everyone took out their umbrellas.
Where the pigs practicing for that tremendous insult to Northern Ireland with Rhianna?
She may not have found love in that hopeless place, but she did find some awesome pig back-up dancers.
Those pigs even went on to be her dinner!
Indeed! She had those pigs made into a pie.
Feasting upon the pie she then began to feel bloated.
A pigheaded goat then came and offered her a wafer thin mint.
"Thank you!" She said, taking the sweet and pocketing it to save for later.
After that she arose from the treasure chest she was sitting on, and walked into the sunset.
What to do with my new snack she wondered aloud, admiring the sunsetting scenery.
But the calm moment was spoiled as suddenly the cookie exploded.
Ohm!
Yes! Electricity is important to sizzle.
Anyway, something bad happened and trouble was bound to happen.
For from the sun setting horizon came the vast army of ships of the Flugelhorns!
They tooted their anthem, Iko Iko.
All who heard it trembled in fetid pickle juice,
which happened to be quite magical and gave everyone the power of DANCE.
Activating their powers, everyone then began to dance the night away.
A right, a left, a down, they danced until dawn, which was hard because when they started it was just after dawn.
So they danced the whole day, the sailing Flugelhorns feeling quite bloated.
To relieve their bloatedness, they took all the midol in the world,
which left most of the world's female population highly misanthropic.
In a murderous haze, they suicided.
This left the world a sad sad place.
And thus the top scientists of the world came together to bring back the female kind using beard science!
This brought back all the womanfolk, however gave them all great big beards which made them look like hella freakin ugly men.
Thankfully, there was not a shortage of grooming supplies, and so the squirrels were able to shave soonish.
But in exchange for shaving, they demanded CHEESE FOR EVERYONE. WAIT, CHEESE FOR NO ONE.
But, due to lack of hair, they soon shivered to the brink of doing a jig!
At which point the stuffed toy from your childhood showed up.
"wat" they declared.
Soon after, all were reading philosophy in the merry jig.
But around them, bearded women bawled about their hairy misfortune.
They felt too illogical to partake in the festivities!
They decided to corral the bank manager about their fortunes.
The bank manager, stuck in the pen, brayed like a piggie at the sight of the women surrounding him.
"But I just wanna do my philosophy readings for tomorrow" he whined, holding up his letter of philanthropists nationwide.
NO! the women cried, surging forward like a group of anti-academics in the ocean.
"But I must get my readings done for class tomorrow, otherwise Doctor Who is going to kill me!"
Speaking of which, the tardis just popped into the bank, the Doc coming out dressed in Ancient green clothing
"Sup", he said, taking off his face
TO REVEAL ANOTHER FACE!
Only it was nearly as charming as dorf.
For it turned out te imposter Doc was a dwarf with a time machine, who was traveling for a white chocolate mocha.
Unfortunately, the dwarf made a wrong turn and wasn't at a coffee shop.
This enraged the poor Dorf so and as such he brandished his lark.
Passersby were terrified, and ran away screaming, HALP ME!
And by that call he summoned the A- Team!
Which did a wicked awesome power slide in that big black pony of theirs.
The crowd to a pause to chortle what was happening.
"This is madness!" they cried. "No, this is AK!" they replied.
To which everyone stared at one another with a large amount of confusion.
"What is AK?" they asked amongst themselves. Is it a firearm? A tasty dish? The answer to life the universe and everything + 5?
And then the bawks fell from the claws of the dinobot.
He dropped it because he was trying to grab a delicious Miha filled taco.
But one should never eat unless they have enough to go around, so the dinobot passed around some steering wheels
Those who could not drive stared blankly at the wheels and then proceeded to do the hola hoop dance with them.
And there was so much rejoicing the Dinobout started to wilt.
The plant witch saw this and finished swooning over the picture of a certain Texan gal.
And then she used magic spells to turn the Dinobot into a CIA plant.
The dinobot got out his crayons and paper & started writing down all the secrets.
But, due to his waiter, kept breaking his crayons; soon after, there was a giant pile of sad, broken crayolas at his feet.
"Well, what do you expect, if you pay me in Ponies!?" cried Miha
"Nothing!" cried the audience, overlooking the scene.
For what is life if not a play on the grand stage of a chatbox?
Why, it would be like a sandwich with no pickled pigs feet!
"I'll give you ponies and you're gonna like 'em," the dinobot finally said as he blank Miha in the face.
"I'll give you ponies and you're gonna like 'em," the dinobot finally said as he kissed Miha in the face.
But alas, the Dinobot was not equipped with lips, so instead he kissed Miha with his warm, metal nostrils.
Miha shrieked and scrambled confused at the nose bump, confused by what had just happened; it wasn't every day you got bumped in the nose by the nose of a Dinobot. o.o
Unfortunately Katsu bumped too hard, causing a nose bleed. Miha used a leaf from the tree of Jeff to clean up his blood!
Naturally, the TREE OF JEFF was indifferent at this most unholy of transgressions! O:<
The tree absorbed the blood, turning into AN EVIL TREE OF EVILNESS, WHICH MADE POOR EEVEES CHEWS OFF THEIR OWN TONGUES!
A moment skipped to allow the world to catch up, unlike movie time last night when no one knew what was going on.
Especially those that were asleep, who didn't see which were showing and stuff that Jeff might've forgotten.
Since he kinda has a disadvantage with attempts to thwart the fairer gender in this glorious battle of all battles. <3
But it would not be the battle of all battles, for next week there would be another battle, where they were utterly decimated by the females.
So it has been said, so it is known to be true, according to the Frox.
And all fell down and worshipped her, bearing offerings of fine cheeses and chocolates.
"Thank you, thank you," she burped, waving lovingly at her peoples.
The beared ladies came to her and asked her "Oh great Frox, what is the best way to play a flugelhorn?"
The Great Frox pondered this awhile before speaking, "With your Koji!"
Just then, Koji emerged from The Great Frox's stomach!
The wafer thin mint gasped as they were covered in bits of Frox!
He had previously met a fat diner and a pelican who was either a giant in a tiny world or the size of a gnat in a giant world. The pelican frequently washed up on the beach of Sorrows.
The Beach of Sorrows was a desolate place, full of the carcasses of deceased Jeffs and stray wisps of what might be dune grass.
Frox offal ly loud yelled at the mint.
For it had betrayed both her and her non-love Kojiru.
Mal was snickering behind the scenes at these events.
Fate would soon change for the Frox and her apparent non-beloved Kojiru, as Zane was in the mail to save the day!
Using his magical skittles, Zane made everything better.
As everyone tasted the rainbow they had an idea to preform a song and dance routine!
There was much spilt milk as they fought to get things right, however, as the choreography was a little more than they could handle.
But, thanks to The God of Dance, they soon had it down to a T!
And then a U, as it followed the T!
But then no V, as that would be political, which is against box rules. The box which had fallen from on high, causing an earthquake which broke the bathroom scale.
The box was in chaos for time indeterminate, as the bathroom scale was a big, important member of box society.
Eventually Cain came, wielding the flag of punctuation, crying out about revolution.
He was met with extreme acceptance.
Together they marched on Ki, who was keeping them weak with competition. "Akatokiyami should be united, not divided on gender!" cried the mob, as they tore down her curtains.
The did clash with the revolutionary spirit, after all.
After all they drank chai tea.
It was delicious, nutritious, and oh so revolutionary.
The cups came from the cup store,
which was not as revolutionary as it should have been.
They were too dull and drab.
They came from the unrevolutionary store.
The revolutionary store was so much better as it represented all the things you wanted to be,
but you had to be a member to Kurai's army of slaves.
Only then could one feel loved and revolutionary!
It also came with totally awesome benefits.
These benefits included: snuggles, cuddles, loves, and access to the cocoon of blankets!
The Mal had always wanted to go into the cocoon of blankets!
But to enter he had to renounce his batmal ways!
The world knew that he would never agree to do that!
And so Mal wandered the land, fighting ponies.
Those revolutionary ponies.
But he lost, as they were from ponytopia,
the land of the revolutionaries.
He needed real, revolutionary power!
The kind from the revolution!
And now this story has been submitted to the tautological catalog of all things revolutionary.
It was registered next to the dramatic revision of the musician revolutionary,
who revolutionized the art of flugelhorns by playing them with their noses.
However that style was not popular as it needed personalized instruments to deal with the squirrels coming from their nose.
The boxian style was popular, though.
The End.
Or is it?