I Could Pee On This

Her new sweater doesn't smell of me
I could pee on that
She's gone out for the day and
left her laptop on the counter
I could pee on that
Her new boyfriend just pushed
my head away
I could pee on him
She's ignoring me ignoring her
I could pee everywhere
She's making up for it
by putting me on her lap
I could pee on this
I could pee on this

- Francesco Marciuliano

This contest was inspired by a book of poems I bought awhile back (when I got the book for the Elementary contest). It is done entirely from a cat's view point. This contest is similar, but you may choose to write the poem from the viewpoint of any animal. The poem my be in any form, from a sonnet to a haiku and anything in between. You have two weeks to get your poems in. There will be two categories, best written and funniest. All poems will be entered in both.

If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Rules:

1. It cannot be a poem that already exists.
2. It must be written by you; no asking someone else to write it.
3. It has to be completely from a single animal's point of view.
4. Nothing that violates AK's content policy.
5. Due date is March 11th, 2013. No late entries.

Prizes:

First - 30 Gold, 15 RP, Custom Title or Colors

Second - 15 Gold, 10 RP, Custom Title or Colors

Third - 5 Gold, 5 RP, Custom Title or Colors

All entries will be added to the poetry section of the Third Division Library thread.

To promote the contest, I will be posting a poem from the book here every day. I'll also use this time to address questions sent in via PM with the Additional Information spoiler.

SPOILER: Click to show

You can submit more than one poem, though if more than one of yours wins in a single category (say you get first and third for two different poems in best written), you only get the first prize and the next closest for third place will take that spot instead. You may withdraw or edit your poem prior to the final due date. Entries should be PMed to me as the contest announcement thread is locked. You may submit a reading of your poem though I need the text copy as well.

Nature's Way

The leaf twirls gently
to the dry ground
The flake tumbles lightly
to the snowy mound
The lightning falls mightily
to the earth with a crash
And I plummet sleepily
from the fridge to the trash
Such is nature's way

- Francesco Marciuliano

I apologize for forgetting to update here. So you get three poems today.

Brothers

They say we are brothers though
we look nothing alike
They say we are family though
we differ so much
I am tabby, you are brown
I am long, you are short
I am thin, you are stout
I am lively, you are shy
I am a kitten, you are a hamster
But kin is kin
So let me run on your wheel

- Francesco Marciuliano

Cat Proverb

They say there are
Twenty-four hours in a day
But I am only up for three of them
And two I consider overtime

- Francesco Marciuliano

Nine Lives

The first life is for running
The second life is for staring
The third life is for climbing
The fourth life is for tearing
The fifth life is for sleeping
The sixth life is for sleeping
The seventh life is for sleeping
The eighth life is for sleeping
The ninth life is for writing my memoirs

- Francesco Marciuliano

Just the Two of Us

There is nothing like long
Direct
Intense
Awkward
Unfortunate
Eye Contact
To help us see
That maybe you put my litter box
Too close to your favorite chair

- Francesco Marciuliano

Call Me

You can
Call me
"Muffins"
All you want
But 'til
You add
"Sir"
At the start
I'm not turning my head

- Francesco Marciuliano

My Tail

If my tail is curved then I am at ease
If it is tucked then do what you please
If it twitches then get out of my sight
If it is to one side then I'm free for the night
If it is fluffed then I simply can't deal
If it swishes then it's about to get real
If it is erect then for you I give thanks
If it is gone then I'm probably Manx
If it grabs food then you're petting a monkey

You should probably walk away right now

- Francesco Marciuliano

Elegy for a Toy I Broke

You no longer jingle
You no longer roll
You no longer do anything
Since I had to see what made you work

I can't deal with all this guilt
I can't express my deep, deep grief
I can't believe what a cheap piece of crap you were
Seriously, I hardly touched you before you broke- Francesco Marciuliano

Sushi

Did you really think
that you could hide fish in rice?
Oh, the green paste burns!

- Francesco Marciuliano

This is the last day to send in entries.

Cold

This table is cold
That hand is cold
The needle is cold
The stethoscope is cold
The doctor is cold
The nurse is cold
This room is cold
The only thing that's warm is the puddle of urine
I made on the vet's notes

- Francesco Marciuliano