SPOILER: Click to show

notice meeeeeeeeeee
Takes place more or less immediately following the Fireflight, or within a few minutes of it ending.

The slow, deliberate gait of one in shock moved through the halls of the Division toward the main offices. Time seemed to slow down, drag on for twice as long as it should have as the hallways seemed to waver and contort, as though seen through a glass of salty water. Mai was oblivious to the stares or strange looks she received as she passed bye; her mind had focused on the task at hand, to take the First Division Fukutaichou to Harupia’s office, and nothing else, not even the tears threatening to stream down her face.

Finally, she arrived at their destination. She stared at the door for a moment, checking out for a second as her mind forgot what it was supposed to do. Blinking back her tears, she came to, and stepped forward to open the door. She stood off to the side to allow the Fukutaichou to pass, gesturing to any one of the chairs to indicate where she should sit as they waited. “Please sit,” she murmured, heading to the couch to wait. “He’ll be here shortly.” She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to wait or be privy to this conversation, but Harupia hadn’t told her otherwise. And it wasn’t like she could go anywhere else.

No, the best thing for her right now was to be with someone else.

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Arashi wasn’t far behind Mai. Her head was down and her bangs hid her face, with the dried tears. She felt as if she should tell Mai something. You did well for the situation at hand or You have bravery I could not begin to fathom. But not a word came from Arashi’s lips. She felt anything said now would be highly inappropriate and just upset the girl more. She couldn’t do that, not to Mai.

As they neared the doors Arashi wiped her hands across her face, drying them on her pants. She stood straight and looked at Mai now. As Mai held the door open, Arashi gave a small smile of thanks and pity.

Please sit

Arashi just nodded more and began to walk to one of the chairs, her back facing the daughter of her captain. She realized how much she was shaking as her hand gripped the back of one of the chairs.

He’ll be here shortly.

Was she leaving? All Arashi could hear was a dull roar in her ears. Probably the blood flow around her ear drums. “Tanaka-san!” She said quickly and spun around just to see Mai sitting on the couch. ”Ah…” She chuckled softly. “I was just about to inform you that I need you to stay, I wish to speak with both of you.”

She offered once more a small smile. She was trying to be friendly but the pity showed. She stared at Mai for a while. Perhaps comparing her to her father. She realized she was staring and turned to take a seat, crossing one leg over the other as she usually did.

“You know, Tanaka-san, I don’t think we’ve ever properly met. Large meetings, glances and such aren’t what I would call meeting someone. It’s nice to meet the daughter of the man I have admired for so long.” Arashi looked up at the ceiling with her hands in her lap. She blinked a few times, a couple of tears sliding down the side of her face and falling to the floor. She was desperate to get Mai’s mind off of the girl…and her own mind off it as well.

Mai positioned herself properly on the couch, back straight and legs crossed at the ankles. Her hands lay in her lap, anxiously kneading the folds of her shihakushou, aware of the scrutiny of her bloodshot eyes. She felt as if she had aged a thousand years in an instant, suddenly thrust out of a sea of naivete and into a world of chaos. Never had she thought, never realized, that they could not save everyone. Up until now, she was sure that if her mother was still alive, she could save her. But now the illusion was shattered, destroyed. If she couldn't save a child, what else could she save? Harupia had said it wasn't her fault, but if she had only been better, she could have saved the little one on the table; she should have been better, she should have saved her.

Her frustrations were taken out on the soiled folds of her kneaded uniform, hands wringing automatically as she waged war with herself; to the redhead across the way, Mai's actions would understandably be construed as inattention; after all, she hadn't reacted to her name or shifted unconsciously under the fukutaichou's gaze. Much like how she had reacted to Harupia's order earlier, Mai made no recognition or acknowledgement that she had been spoken to. It wasn't until that Arashi had glanced up to the ceiling to allow her own tears to fall that Mai came back to life. "I'm not...."

Her voice was hoarse, cracking with the pangs of held-in tears. She wouldn't allow herself to cry any more than she already had, those wayward tears having done enough damage already. She licked her lips and swallowed, still watching her wringing hands. "I'm not his only daughter." It was a lame response, and a fairly obvious one at that, but it was the only thing she had grasped. Now she was clinging to it madly, using it as the rope to pull her from her despair.

And it wasn't like she could express how nice it was to meet her father's lieutenant after they had just watched a child die; no one in the division had that capability, not without lying through their teeth.

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Arashi didn’t respond when Mai mentioned she wasn’t the only daughter. Arashi knew this…but the knot in her stomach was too powerful. What was this feeling? She placed a hand on her stomach. She was angry. At whom? It wasn’t the captain and surely not Mai so who was she angry with? Herself perhaps…perhaps because she couldn’t think of how to comfort this girl…she greatly desired to comfort her. Why? Perhaps because she was upset. But Arashi had seen a lot of people upset before, it hadn’t fazed her then. Maybe because she had seen what upset Mai and it upset her as well or maybe because it was her captain’s daughter.

You did your best. She wanted to say. There was nothing more you could possibly do. She couldn’t form her lips to speak. You should be proud…

Arashi didn’t know what came over her as she silently stood from her seat. She stared at the ground, wondering if it was the right thing to do. She barely knew this girl…but she felt as if she needed to. She walked over in front of the girl and smiled weakly down at her. The pain…it was sinking into her, about what she was about to do.

The usually serious and assholey, Arashi, erased herself. Now, the woman who stood in front of Mai was caring and understanding. She knew how Mai felt…She knew that maybe Mai would object but Arashi’s duty as a shinigami was to protect those outside of the gotei. When Tsuru was killed, she felt as if she had failed on her job…how could she possibly let a child die? If she couldn’t even protect a child how could she protect anyone? Yes…she knew this is what was probably going through the girl’s head.

Arashi slowly kneeled down in front of Mai. She’d reach forward to take her hands, to try to calm her. Her mother always did this to her, when Arashi was upset. She would kneel down and hold her hands and say some comforting words. What would mother say…

[/i] She thought. How could she possibly say something as wise and comforting as her mother use to.

She closed her eyes. Once again letting the soft, hard to breath, sigh come from her lips. She reopened her eyes to stare into Mai’s charmingly beautiful ones. “Mai…” Her voice was different than usual. It wasn’t the stuck up Arashi, this Arashi was the one who Tsuru knew. This was the voice of Arashi when she was a mother figure. ”In the situation, it is understandable for your emotions to be on a high level…” She stopped. She sounded dumb…not wise like her mother. “In other words…it’s ok. Tears are just a function of our strength not weakness. It takes true strength to know when to let it out.” Her eyes watered as she said those words…the same words her mother had told her one day after training. Her father had been so hard on her but her mother, so soft…so gentle. Why did the good die? Why couldn’t her father die and her mother live? Why couldn’t Arashi die in the place of Tsuru? But the past is the past…nothing to linger on.

Arashi would stand up, letting go of Mai’s hands. She would reach out and softly touch the side of Mai’s head and lean down, kissing the top of it slightly. She headed back to her seat and regained her position of looking at the ceiling; all motherly bits disappeared from her face and body. She closed her eyes and tapped her foot, not a sign of impatience but a sign of nervousness. [/blockquote]

The rope frayed, unravelling from both ends, when Mai’s obvious statement was met with silence. No, it was the wrong answer, she had said the wrong thing, had done the wrong thing. Another mistake chalked to inexperience. Tears welled in her eyes once again as her doubts overwhelmed her fragile psyche, threatening to spill over and trail down her cheeks. She was weak, inadequate, unable to meet anyone’s expectations, especially her own.

“I...we did the best we could Mai-chan...including you. You did nothing wrong.”

I did everything wrong! I was too slow! I should have been there, right behind you! You...you shouldn’t have waited!

“Whatever happened had to happen before she got on the table...but whatever it was...she didn’t make it...”

I should have tried harder! I should have been faster! You should have made me go faster!

“I know it must feel horrible...but It’s something you have to endure for now.”

“I....we...shouldn’t have waited for me...” she mumbled quietly, almost accusatorially at her incessant hands. It was her fault, her mistake that had done this, no matter how Harupia had tried to tell her it wasn’t. The girl squeezed her eyes shut, taking her lower lip between her teeth. She bit down into the soft as her throat constricted, tendons flexing and muscles contracting as they fought against the urge to scream. Her nostrils flared as she struggled to maintain an even respiratory rate, each breath audible as she exhaled; her fists balled and relaxed for a moment as she battled out her emotions, mind focused on keeping calm and waiting it out until Harupia had arrived.

The sudden contact by another was entirely unexpected; from what she knew of the fukutaichou, Mai was fairly certain that the attempt at comforting was extremely uncharacteristic – stereotypically, only members of the Second Division were this soft. When Arashi’s hands closed over Mai’s formerly fidgety fists, the pale medic nearly leapt out of her skin in surprise. For some reason, she allowed the touch to continue, perhaps knowing that this was an attempt to forge a connection or a mutual need for comfort between the two women. The fukutaichou’s words, far from their comforting intent, did not offer anything in the way of alleviation; they had, unfortunately, reminded Mai of her mother.

It sounded exactly like something Chiyoko would have said, if she was still alive to say it.

The realization forced Mai to open her eyes. Violet pools swam in and out of focus over the renewed swelling of her tears, eventually losing their watery sheen as the first of many broke the barrier and coursed silently along the contour of her cheek. She remained silent, her aching throat still contracting as the struggle to remain silent continued; she had to beat this, keep her head on straight. Face life as it was: visceral and unforgiving.

As Arashi rose, Mai’s eyes followed the redhead’s, keeping a close watch on what the fukutaichou might do next; Mai was far from paranoid, but the carefully erected barriers regarding physical proximity had been damaged, and her own exhaustion had prevented the repairs from happening in a timely manner (she had earlier resolved to allow Harupia into her personal bubble, and had somewhat successfully survived the ordeal, but the fukutaichou with her innocent intentions was most definitely not Harupia, and therefore, unwelcome). She did not deign to correct it, however, as she had removed herself emotionally from the current problem; in the grand scheme of things, Tanaka Mai’s personal space bubble was far from the most important.

There was the matter of the dead child in the cold room somewhere below them to contend with after this meeting with her father’s second in command had finished. The meeting that Harupia had to be present for. The sooner he was here, the sooner Mai could find some way to cry herself into oblivion. Until then, she had to sit in the awkward, tense silence she had managed to facilitate.

Harupia took a while to get out of the cold room, watching the girl laying on the table. So peaceful...if she truly was only sleeping...but there was no denying the truth. He also wanted to stay here for the chilly nature of the room. It helped him gather his thoughts a bit. He needed to keep his cool, there was work to be done after all. Still...it has been a while since he had to deal with this feeling.

On his way out he quickly checked on the other operation, of the Division Fukutaicho. At least here there could be talk of success. She was alive, and her state was stable...if weak. It was hard to say if she would regain consciousness at this rate... So she was alive, but for the time being he couldn't count on her as the Fukutaicho...functionally, that was a much grieve loss then the one he suffered.

After checking there he walked towards his office, with haste in his step. Someone looking form the side, might find it a bit comical, how one broken down door could lead to such a disastrous day. So much went wrong... and it all could be traced to that one moment. But it wasn't time to blame any of the parities involved. At least the rest of the hospital was functioning normally...at least for the most part. He couldn't help but to think about one girl who needed his assistance...again, because of his own faults...

His face clearly tired, he would open the door, seeing the women sitting inside somewhat comfortably, Arashi sitting in what seemed to be an agitated state, and Mai looking...well, he couldn't see her face, but he could assume why she was trying to hide it. Closing the door behind himself he would let out a sigh and then say "Mai-chan, Arashi-san....thank you for your patience, both of you. I had to make sure everything was in order so I can find out what caused the girl to...pass away" he said, seating himself behind his desk, motioning both of them to stay seated. After that he would say "My apologies for keeping you waiting. This has been quite a harrowing day for my Division, Arashi-san. I hope you don't mind if Mai-chan stays here with us?" he said, turning a quick apologetic glance at Mai. He could guess she wanted to talk, but he took a safe assumption Malik didn't send his right hand only for a cup of tea. He would turn to the red-heard fukutaicho and then say "So, what brings you to your humble companions, Arashi-san?". To be quite honest, he kind of wished she actualy was here for the tea...

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As the silence continued on, Arashi began to get aggravated. Once again, it was not the young girl or the captain, but herself. Arashi hated the fact she couldn’t comfort the young girl that sat before her. Arashi wondered to herself if she had crossed over the line. With her body still outstretched, her face staring at the ceiling, her eyes slid over to look at the sad girl. A small smile would play on Arashi’s lips but disappeared as she returned her gaze to the ceiling.

She really is her father’s daughter…

[/i] Arashi thought. She felt a strange feeling build in her chest. Pride perhaps? Satisfaction? They are both so caring. Even though Malik might handle the situation better…she is young as I recall…Even I had a hard time handling the situation. It isn’t every day you witness a child die before you.[/i] Arashi closed her eyes and let out another sigh, this one was calm. It was a sigh of impatience. Tanaka-soutaichou hadn’t given her a time limit on when he wanted all the divisions dealt with and spoken to but she hoped to at least get two in a day. Her eyes reopened. Perhaps under today’s circumstances she should just go rest after this? She shook her. No. She was the fukutaichou of the soutaichou. She shouldn’t let a death keep her from her duties. For that thought, she must fit in three divisions today!

As Arashi heard the door open, she craned her neck more to look at the captain at an upside down angle. When he thanked Mai and herself for their patience, Arashi gave a half smile and sat up, popping her neck to get the crane out of her neck. She slouched a little and folded her hands on her legs which were crossed. Arashi’s eyes darkened momentarily as he spoke of the girl passing but she didn’t let it phase her long. She was here on business.

As he apologized for waiting, Arashi raised her right hand to wave his apology away. “Actually, I need Mai Tanaka-san’s opinion on the situation at hand as well as yours.” Arashi said and sat straight, sinking into business mode.

“I don’t know many members of your second division, so I must rely on the ones I have heard about.” She opened her mouth to bring up that usually she’d have the fukutaichou in including Mai but…she felt it was a subject better left untouched.

“First, I must touch on the subject of the child.” She closed her eyes. “As painful as it is, I must applaud both you for your efforts and bravery to try and save the child despite being a Rukon citizen.” She reopened her eyes and looked the captain in the eyes. ”On that topic, it is our job as Shinigami to serve and protect those in the Rukongai districts and although the loss of the child is a terrible and upsetting loss it will not be in vain; perhaps we may use it to open the eyes of the more stubborn among us in the gotei.” The last of that sentence was partially a growl and she was of course thinking of a certain Sumie’s outburst.

“Tanaka-soutaichou and I have come to realize as shinigami, we are failing in our duties to protect those whom we promised years ago, to protect. They provide us with the needs to live; the least we can do is try to protect them from the outbursts and attacks of hollows. So once again, I thank you both for following our promise and oath as shinigamis.”

”But I did not come here to lecture you both on how others are failing nor did I come here to compliment your duties. I did come here for your mature and honest opinions. The soutaichou feels that it will be easier to resolve the issue if we seek different opinions from all our brothers and sisters. At least it will give us a wider variety on what we can do to help the Rukon citizens.”

“So, Mai-san, Harupia-taichou…what are you professional opinions on how we can…hopefully help prevent situations such as the one that occurred today?[/blockquote]

The awkwardness seemed to lessen somewhat as Harupia entered his office, much to Mai’s immediate relief; her posture slackened slightly, as though a giant sigh of stress had exhaled from her body. She was still looking downward, glaring as her hands busily destroyed the efficacy of her hakama, as Harupia passed her by. Still, she shifted slightly to face his direction as he took his seat behind his desk, further physically relaxing as he, too, bid her stay; anything short of an order to vacate would have been met with resistance, as Mai was very positive that her legs were jelly and any attempt to relocate would have been severely disastrous.

The unseated officer sat quietly as the fukutaichou before her explained her reasoning for being here, unfortunate as it was. She would appear to be mulling thoughts over in her head, though she was still visibly checked out from the conversation; she had, after all, just witnessed (and possibly contributed) to the death of the child that the fukutaichou was using as an example. Far from coherent, the young girl could only sit as a spectator as her mind continuously replayed all that had happened in the last several minutes. Terrible as it was, she had no choice, at the moment, to force herself to do otherwise; distracting herself from it would not help – it would serve to only make the blow that much more difficult to bear as the distraction finished.

Talking on preventive measures could help, yes, but not in her current state; she was just as liable to lash into the fukutaichou for indecency as she was to burst into tears. No, for Mai, the wound was far too fresh. Perhaps after Harupia had spoken, then she could elucidate. But not before. That was not to say that she wasn’t without ideas on the matter, as she had joined the gotei by her own volition in order to improve upon the conditions she had witnessed on her brief forays outside of the walls.

She had experienced first hand what it was like to be at the mercy of an attacking beast, and not a week had passed since that invading force had torn through the third district. She held onto the romantic notion that she could make it better, even if she just went out and offered medicine for those unwilling to go into Seireitei, or tend to those who had suffered injury and could not otherwise make it in. She would not have almost died over fifty years ago had there been larger, more diligent patrols in the lesser districts. There were many things she could think of to prevent such terrifying instances from happening again, but she just could not put a voice to them yet.

Harupia nodded as Arashi spoke, sitting straight up as she waved at him, mentioning she wanted Mai to stay as well. She seemed to be doing quite well, being focused on the situation at hand. Though it seemed her eyes were a bit glossed over. He did not know much about the women's history, but he was glad to see someone not being ashamed of letting them self feels sorry while preforming her work. That was an important trait for any Shinigami.

As she spoke about the child, rising her voice quite clearly by the end of the sentence he would say "Thank you for the kind words. Its a sad day when the situation slips out of you control in a split second...but its something I had to learn to work with as a medic. And I would hope that the sentiment of certain Fukutaicho's was more a case of them being tired and worried about their close ones rather then malice...but yes, separating between "us" and "them" is not something I would like to promote..." he concluded with a small smile. He had only tasted life of the Rukongai citizen, it was an interesting time, which ended in a bitter way...still, he had never had any ill will towards the Rukongai. he wanted to do his best to help them...but perhaps this was proof that they could do more?

Arashi, or perhaps even Malik himself, wherever he may be, seemed to be capable of reading his mind, as Arashi moved onto her main topic of her venture here. He listened to her, leaning his chin on his cupped hands, mulling over the issue. Honest opinions about how to provide more aid for the Rukongai...he needed a moment to calm himself, a brief outburst of ideas, accusations and complaints bursting to his head...focus Taicho,focus.

After a moment of silence he would say "I would still like to thank for the compliments. Its somewhat relieving to hear some kind words. Now, id feel more comfortable with Hotaru-fukutaicho to discuss this topic...however, she will be in no shape to assist us for some time. As for my input on the matter, there needs to be an outpost of our Division within the Rukongai. Ideally in every populated district, but realistically we really need at least one further out of the city. The loses we sustained during the fight with the unknown assailant went smoothly, but we had time to prepare. And the girl proved that even with my expertise, wasting to much time can lead to irreversible damage. So the most pressing concern would be putting a 2nd Division facility in the Rukongai." He spoke fast, in a somewhat excited tone. Not a happy excited, more focused, thinking of things he could do better, and could have thought of earlier.

After a small breath he would say "Besides that, at least from the perspective of the 2nd Division, I could imagine perhaps some of us going to the Rukongai and trying to see what the state of medical care is there? How they heal, who does it and how? Perhaps give lessons to some of the people? But another thing that comes to my mind...Malik-Taicho's though is a good one. But in this form, everyone talking separately like this, it doesn't seem like the best way. We need to meet...the Taicho, their Fukutaicho, and discuss our plans moving forward together. And ideally we would have some sort of authority figures from the Rukongai to try and talk something over with them from the beginning...Ehh, of course, if Tanaka-san already came up with that idea then the idea isn't really that original" he said with a small chuckle before concluding "But that my input for the time being...Would you have something to add, Mai-chan?" turning his head to the Tanaka daughter, wanting her to at least peek out from the protective bubble around her. Talking helped sometime. At least it helped him.

At Harupia's gentle encouragement, Mai perked up; her head moved to look toward the pair at the desk, raising slightly as to not appear entirely out of sorts. She wasn't so far gone as to not have been listening intently, though her appearance had been to the contrary; she was formulating a thought, struggling to put it into words that made sense. For the most part, she agreed with Harupia, as she strongly felt that the need for a satellite office was a dire necessity – she recalled, vividly, the image of her father being struck down from behind by the winged beast, and had worried her entire trek back to the Second Division. She had not been able to carry him, and were it not for the assistance of the shinigami from his own Division, the situation would not have been resolved as it was, and instead the young girl could have been an orphan.

When she spoke, her voice was hoarse, nearly cracking from the effort of speaking. "I agree, an outpost in the Rukongai would greatly benefit everyone. It could have prevented...today's unfortunate events...and several others in the past, I'm sure. It would also provide those with fear of the Shinigami a safe place to go when they needed treatment." She vaguely recalled a grumpy old sack from one of her previous encounters into the Rukon at an early age, an elderly-looking man with no care in the world for someone at her status. Perhaps a clinic run by volunteers with someone of the Second running and training the staff and letting them function on their own might be better? That was a thought for later, however, and only if the plan took hold by the Council.

It endeared Harupia further to Mai as their thoughts mirrored one another, which bolstered her confidence; something she greatly needed now more than ever. "Additionally, the most important issue is how those...things...managed to slip in through the lower districts. Patrols are lacking," she stated, voice cracking in two. After a short pause, she licked her lips and swallowed once, moistening her mouth in order to continue; her hyposalivation was a byproduct of the fear she was reliving once again, this time with her own life as the one on the line. She began to recant the tale of her own near death experience, being as vague as possible as to why she was out in the Rukongai, but fell short, opting instead for a more succinct phrasing. "I nearly lost my life due to such shortcomings. This little girl lost hers because of them."

Tears welled in her eyes, which were hastily rubbed away by the heel of her hand, as she looked toward her superiors. Mai quickly apologized, hiding her blotching face behind her thin wrist as she waited for the next stage of this discussion. Oh, how she wished she could just go crawl in a hole and sob herself until next week, or crawl into a warm, loving embrace and be reassured constantly (though such reassurances had already be said).

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Mai’s silence caused Arashi to furrow her brows. She slid her lips to the side, a look of thinking upon her face but she listened intently to the captain. She kept comparing Mai and Malik to each other. She closed her eyes for a second and opened them to focus on Harupia.

She listened intently and even waited after he was done. She had her hopes high that Mai would respond. She waited for a couple of second before opening her mouth to speak but to her surprise she was cut off my Mai. She closed her mouth with a soft smile on her lips.

She did not turn to look at Mai, but just listened. It was her words that needed to be heard, not her actions. Mai did not speak as long as her captain but she did speak. Her last sentence sent chills down Arashi’s back. She slowly closed her eyes and nodded, as if she had expected that something so tragic had happened to Mai.

With her eyes still closed she began to speak. ”While I would like the fukutaicho to be here with us, I would have Mai here either way. I can’t say for sure what is going through our Soutaichou’s head but I have a guess that he wants to get options from more than just the authorities. It’s not just the authorities we are protecting. The more ideas the better and some authorities…can sometimes be sycophantic.” She finally opened her eyes to look at Harupia. She had witnessed it before, some people kissing the ass of the soutaichou, saying what they thought he would like to hear. Not to say others wouldn’t do the same.

“We have shinigami from our division in Rukongai as we speak, they are merely just going door to door asking the citizens what we can do for them. I am sure when we have more ideas on the table and have looked at the issue more, Tanaka-soutaichou will arrange a meeting but this is the first notice I have received about it from him.”

”These are great ideas…although; we would need your recommendations as captain for someone who could be in charge of a post outside of the Gotei. I rather it be you, but…you will be busy enough here and the Soutaichou would probably want you to revolve from the post in the Rukongai and your own office. But once again, I cannot say for sure what goes through our soutaichou’s mind.” Arashi couldn’t help but glance over at Mai from the corner of her eyes, could it possible make her feel as if she was accomplishing something? Paying the child back for her life.

As Mai looked up he was quiet, letting her take the time she needed to speak. It seemed it was a somewhat difficult task for her, her voice sounding tired and strained. One could clearly see she was taking the whole situation quite hard, her eyes slightly poofy, the stops she made to collect her thoughts. Still, she was collected enough to put forward some meaningful discussion about that topic, even if her opinions were more or less mirroring his. He was glad he shared the same view on things, though her reasons seemed to be much more traumatic. Though int he very end she was right. If not for their shortcomings, perhaps the girl could have still be alive...

He could clearly see the effort she put into trying to stay collected through the whole ordeal. As did Arashi, siting with closed eyes as the instead member spoke. And she started talking in a relaxed posture as well before finally opening her eyes. Soo, Malik was sending out Shinigmai to test the waters. That was a start. Though he wished they would find the girl before he did...but again, this was something to improve in the future. Dwelling on it could only cause grater harm in the future.

As she finished speaking he would say "Yes, getting the opinion of the main party of interests is a good way to start...though one wonders if they have any form of organization on a larger scale...And While I wouldn't shy away from going to that post if it were to come into life, but I cant have the entire land rely on my medical expertise. It would be a good chance for medics of lower rank but greater skill to show their worth and improve their skill. Wherever I might be there is no shortage of grievous injuries. I will work on a list of candidates for such an endeavor...just in case" he said with a small chuckle. It was a tough call. Being closer to the Hollow meant more seriously injured people he could tend to. But He couldn't simply leave the home front on a whim, treating seriously injured Shinigami was not a rarity...ehh, Hotaru picked the worst moment to go out of commission indeed.

After a small break he would say "Well, hopefully this initiative from Malik-san will give us some insight upon which we can expand. Is there anything else you would like to discuss? Perhaps you would like something to drink? I think we all could use a nice cup of warm tea to ease the stress of the day a bit" he said with a small sigh. A long day indeed, and one of which the consequences would weight on his mind for quite a while, he imagined. And he still had the unseated member to take care of. In spite of her best attempts it wasn't hard to see Mai needed some support to get through this hurdle.

Mai remained quiet after she had spoken, resigned to listening; she hadn't offered anything substantial to the discussion, after all, and while she didn't feel so much shame of inadequacy as exhaustion due to inability to think clearly, she still felt as though her contributions were not acceptable. If she hadn't just assisted in an accidental manslaughter, she may have been able to elucidate on the matter, but that was not the case. She had no real desire to contribute anyway, not after all that she had witnessed in the last few hours.

Her taichou had been in this kind of situation before, and had an idea of how to function with the grief. Mai's only immediate experience with death had been when her mother passed in her sleep almost two hundred years ago, and she had no guidance then, only a searing pain deep in her very being. This was different, but the ideals were still similar, enough to reopen that old wound and cause her to very nearly physically shut down.

Harupia's suggestion for tea was a godsend; Mai latched onto the suggestion as a fish to a hook, and rose rather mechanically to begin the process, mumbling that she would make it. Even if no one else wanted any, she still did, and excused herself from the conversation for the moment to go make the drink.

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Arashi listened to the captain carefully. She took all he said in word for word, as if she’d recite it back to Malik. She smiled as he said he would think of some people to assign.

He brought up tea. Arashi was about to decline, saying she needed to continue with her duties but she heard noise and mumbling. She closed her mouth and put down the hand that had arose to object. She turned around, seeing Mai her eyes softened. She was so…servant like, so willing to do whatever someone wanted. ”Yes…” Arashi mumbled, turning back to Harupia. “Tea sounds marvelous.”

An awkward silence erupted while Arashi waited for Mai. She tapped her fingers on her leg before looking up at the captain. ”I do have a question, this is from my own curiosity, not from the Soutaichou’s.” She glanced over to where Mai was sitting then back at Harupia. ”I know second division focuses on physical medical issues but what about mental?”

”A shinigami isn’t at their best when dealing with mental problems.” She of course wasn’t only speaking about Mai, Arashi had her own fair deals with problems. When her mother died, when her father abandoned her…she could have used some help.

The silence which followed was a bit more comfortable, though still a bit tense. Though his suggestion of tea at least made Mai lively...though he did not mean for hr to do it. Still, he could only guess that she wanted to do it if she bolted up so fast...perhaps she just needed to do something to take her mind of the whole ordeal. And it seemed Arashi wanted some as well. With a slight smile he said "So it'll be three. That's good to ha. Though I don't mean to hold you up Arashi-san.I'm sure you have other tasks to attend to, don't mean to be a bother"

Her next comment caught him a bit by surprise...though in retrospect, it was a well placed one even if it could seem somewhat insensitive around Mai...then again, he could hardly call shock a mental ailment. After a brief moment of though he would say "That is something we could look into as well...however, feeling emotional wounds is a lot more complicated then applying Reiatsu to a wound I'm afraid, hehe. We try out best to be empathic in this division...try to understand and help people cope with what they went through. But that something you have to learn by yourself...or at least something which would be really hard to teach someone..." he concluded, scratching his head in thought. A doctor of the mind...something he could see as useful in a world torn with troubles...but how does one go around healing someones mind deliberately?

Mai had slowly moved to the other side of the office, where the bar to serve the tea was situated. She did not have to leave the room for very long, only to cross into the mess hall to get a hot pot of water so their tea wouldn’t be lukewarm; the temperature wouldn’t have mattered to Mai in the least, though perhaps maybe it would do something to dull numbness inside. As hard as it was to focus on anything, she did try her hardest to not over – or under – power the flavor of the drink intended to relax.

Dumping the herbs into the pot, miraculously not fumbling once and spilling the dried leaves every which way over the tray; she did shake slightly when she put three individual cups on the tray. Her first attempt to pick up the laden tray almost ended in disaster – the initial wait was, while familiar, unexpected, and her arms trembled when she first grabbed it, and it nearly clattered to the counter. The second attempt was much more successful. The tray made a very obvious clattering sound as she set it back on the counter in Harupia’s office, though the young girl didn’t make much note of it; instead, she grasped two of the three cups and presented them, slightly shaking, to the taichou and fukutaichou before her. She hadn’t heard their conversation, having been too focused on not ruining the tea her hands seemed so hellbent on destroying.

SPOILER: Click to show

1. Buy keurig. 2. Put kcup in keurig // but tea bag in empty cup. 3. Press blue button, wait. 5. Enjoy
or just do it alan rickman style

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Arashi heard what he was saying but her eyes were not focused on him. Her fingers tapped on her legs, thinking. She nodded when he finished speaking and when she heard Mai re-enter the room she stood up. She watched Mai, she wanted to help but this was something Mai wanted to do so slowly and reluctantly Arashi returned to her seat and took the cup from Mai.

”Thank you, Tanaka-san.” She whispered, giving Mai a nod of her appreciation.

Arashi returned her gaze to the captain. She sighed and took a sip from the cup. It was hot. Arashi flinched and set the cup in her lap. She hated hot drinks, she’d let it cool down before drinking anymore. She was thankful for Mai though.

”Granted…you can’t fix it like you can wound.” Arashi looked down at her lap. ”But still…” Arashi didn’t know what to say, so instead she raised the cup back up to her lips and scorched her tongue once more, flinching again as she did so.

She stared down at her lap, looking into the cup. ”Sometimes those in pain…need someone who has recovered to show them how to…recover.” Arashi spoke slowly; the words didn’t even make sense to her. It was something she had heard once upon a time. An argument between her father and mother.

Father was being too strict with daughter. Mother was upset. Mother yelled at Father. Mother told Father that he couldn’t raise daughter like that. Father yelled at Mother, told Mother Daughter was weak. Mother told Father Daughter was in pain and needed help. What was daughter in pain from? Even daughter didn’t know. Father struck Mother. Mother fell and started to cry. Father walked away…

Arashi didn’t even realize she had zoned out until she felt the hot tea run down her leg. She jumped up and saw some tea had fallen on the ground. She quickly placed the tea cup on his desk. “I’m sorry.” She muttered.

She pulled a cloth out of her pocket; it was an obvious dirty cloth. She had used it before for fist fights, wrapped it around her knuckles. There was some blood on the cloth but she didn’t mind. She bent down, dropping to her knees, using the cloth to soak up the tea. ”I am really terribly sorry.”

Harupia didn't break the brief silence after he finished speaking about the fukutaicho's idea, and also stood up as Mai returned with the tea. She moved slow with the tray, careful not to spill the condense of the cups. He considered letting her take the cup she offered to him and taking the last one from the tray, but he figured he didn't want to startle her. He simply accepted the offer cup saying "Thank you Mai-chan. Ill be sure to return the favor someday" he said with a small chuckle. He was fully prepared to make the tea himself, but since she jumped at the chance to do something...he would simply offer her a nice warm cup someday when the situation wasn't as...hectic.

Taking a gentle sip of the warm brew he would respond to the red-hairdo Shinigami saying "Yes, that is a point. But really, coping with any sort of trauma is something each person deals with on their own...others can help, but in the end, the painful memories, the trauma is something we must tame ourselves. I guess that is part of what constitutes a Shinigami life, fending of vicious beasts both in the material plane, as well as in our own soul's...Eheh, sorry, i tend to get a bit verbose at times"he said with a chuckle, scratching his head. He didn't want to bore the two ladies to death, or make the atmosphere more gloomy then it is.

He blinked a bit as Arashi dropped her tea, seemingly spaced out until the hot liquid drenched her leg. Seeing her apologize and starting to wipe the floor he open a drawer in his desk to take out a cloth of his own saying "Its fine Arashi-san, let me help you. And you Mai just sit down for a bit, no need for three people to scrub the floor" he said with a smile, not wanting her to waste her energy on something as trivial. He was fully capable of cleaning a mess. as he whipped the floor with the Fukutaicho he said "No harm done, its only a bit of the floor. However, I do not wish to hold you here any longer if you tired. Of course if there is some other topic you wish to discuss then I'm all ear's. If not you can proceed as you please. I'm sure we could all use a breather...". He didn't want to just dismiss her,but he didn't want her to feel obliged to stay longer then she felt necessary. He was sure they would have a chance to discuss any plans further along the way

After handing the tea to both Harupia and Arashi, Mai nodded and shuffled back to the counter, where she could grab her own. She only half-listened to what was being said, having not been present when the topic started to manage a full comprehension. It didn't necessarily matter – she was too focused on not spilling her tea and looking like a fool in front Harupia to notice what was going on. Still, she heard what was being said, and a great shudder went through her body.

The cup of tea rested untouched on the tray. Her hands clenched the edge of the counter, knuckles bone white, as she fought to control the sob. Her Taichou's words mirrored her own past, her actions, perfectly. She pulled herself inward, searching for something to cling onto before the abyss threatened to take her away.

Mai hated crying. She always had. It was violent and dirty and it did more emotional harm than good. Crying left her weak and exhausted, a terrible feeling that left her worse off that it should have. It served her no purpose.

She turned around, not trusting herself to remain in control, and started a slow shambling walk to the couch to keep herself removed from the conversation, but not alone. When the fukutaichou dropped her cup, Mai had just been sitting herself down; at Harupia's behest, she remained seated. He was correct, three people cleaning up was a bit much. Once again, she found herself sitting helpless.

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Arashi sighed and continued to use her bandages to soak up the tea before sitting back on her feet and giving out a sigh like she had before, the sigh of a girl holding back her emotions. It had been a very emotional day, even for her. She had no idea why so many memories decided to come back…perhaps it was the girl whom laid on the table and died…

She could have saved her like she could have saved Tsuru. If she had only been paying attention, maybe if Mal sent her instead of the others to the city…she would have stopped it…maybe if she had decided to go visit Tsuru’s family she could have seen the girl and her troubles and saved her.

She clutched the fabric of her pants, rag still in her hand a stood up, hiding her face from the captain and young girl. She felt as useless and pitiful as she did before she became lieutenant. Her eyes glanced up at Mai and back down to the floor.

“Perhaps I should carry about my duties, Taichou.” She said in a low voice, hiding the fact she wanted to cry.

She turned and began to walk to the door but her eyes landed on Mai. Why, why did she feel so compelled to do something about this crying child? Why did she feel the want to cradle her as she had cradled Tsuru? Arashi bowed to the girl.

”Thank you, Tanaka-san.” She stood up straight and gave the girl a smile. ”Perhaps when both of us aren’t packed with our overwhelming duties we could find some time to meet for lunch?” She didn’t know why but she felt the need to help the poor girl. ”You know how to find me, if you’re interested.” It was a true statement; Arashi was usually with or near the Soutaichou, if she wasn’t it meant she was too busy to be bothered.

Walking out the door, Arashi allowed herself to chuckle. She was so stuck up on her job that she lingered around her captain for any slip of a job he might have; or perhaps she stuck around him for entertainment. The thought made her imagine her captain in a jester’s outfit, juggling pens and balled up paper work. If only…

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If he were in a better mood Harupia would joke about something ugly being on his face or having a nasty shave cut, with both of the women trying their best to avoid looking him in the eye. But that wasn't the best time for that sort of joke. It was clear both women were taxed emotionally by the whole ordeal, understandably. He was a bit surprised Arashi took the death of a girl she did not know so strongly...but that only showed how little he knew about his comrades...perhaps something they should all work on fixing.
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As they stood up after cleaning the floor he said "As you wish Arashi-san. Hopefully next time we meet the situation wont be as...hetic" he said with a weak chuckle, only smiling lightly as she offered Mai to meet when they had the time. She seemed to care about the girls well being...perhaps a sign of her dedication to her captain and his family. Giving her a deep bow as she left he would close the door behind her before letting out a small sigh.

Now he had to deal with another patient of sorts... one which had been hit with a brick out of the blue because of his own decisions. Made in good will, but nevertheless. He trusted Mai would be able to cope better with the risk of a patients death...but the suddenness, the extrema conditions, the patient herself...it would be a true challenge for anyone. Slowly he moved to grab the cup of tea from his desk, and then sitting himself next to her on the couch. Taking a sip, weighing his words before breaking the silence, he would turn towards her and say "After going through a trail like this I really should call you Mai-san. You faced the ugliest face of our trade head on, for better or worse. Still, I think we had enough of professional talk for a bit, have we not?" he asked mater of factly, his face clearly showing concern for her as he said

"So, as a friend, and I do hope you see me as one...Mai-chan, I know you want to be a strong, capable Shinigami, to prove that you can handle death...but you don't need to bottle it all up. And you cant blame yourself for anything. You did your part well, if anything this was my failure. But you did what you were capable of, just as Ive expected you too. So please, don't blame yourself...and don't be afraid to show that you feel hurt, sad. The longer you bottle it up, the worse it'll be.." he concluded, waiting to see her response. He wasn't quite sure how well he did, but in a situation like this, you never knew did you?

Mai nodded jerkily, acknowledging the fukutaichou’s departure (and agreeing to the prospect of lunch) without a verbal response; she could only sit and remain silent – her tea had been forgotten on the counter. Her throat was scratchy and dry from the stress of holding things in, and now without her tea, she was acutely aware of the need to wet it. She could feel it swelling with each passing moment, the lump growing and growing, threatening to swallow her whole.

The young girl stiffened slightly as Harupia sat down next to her; she was not surprised that he was sitting next to her, only taken aback that he had done so without her knowing. She relaxed after the initial surprise, eventually reassuming her hunched, defeated position. She listened as he spoke, eyes shifting up and toward her Taichou’s face; she couldn’t accurately look at him through the strands of hair on either side of her face – she had not taken care in the last several minutes to keep the wayward locks securely ensconced behind her ears – but she could tell from the tone of his voice that he was concerned for her wellbeing. As she listened, her hands slowly unknotted themselves from her ruined hakama and instead set themselves on the futile task of smoothing them out.

Once Harupia finished his little speech, Mai’s attention once again turned to her hands, now stilled as she mulled over his words; he was correct, she knew this rationally, but the doubt, the self-depreciation continued to eat at her confidence. The tears welled up as her eyes trailed down Harupia’s face and toward her own hands. She hunched down, bringing her trembling hands to her face to hide her shame. The fear – anxiety – fell from closed eyes, a giant sob tearing through her body and ripping out her throat. She did not wail, did not blubber, otherwise making no sound that the watery breathing that accompanied her heaving shoulders.

Harupia kept talking as Mai moved her hands to her hair, trying to seize control of her long hair covering her eyes. It made him think a bit about his own hair. Perhaps keeping long hair was not the best choice for a medic, but he kind of liked it. He remembered the days he was younger, in the Rukongai, trying to make a living on his own... the girls did quite like his long flowing hair... a bit of sentiment from those years remained in his mind, even if it turned out to be a bit of a frivolous, youngster endeavor. Still, it allowed him to gain some insight on how the life there looked like... perhaps thinking about that would make him feel a bit better about the whole ordeal...

What confused him more was why he thought about the girls he saw there... But when he looked at Mai now, her gaze filled with such sadness, the tears sneaking past her eyes... He treated all of his division mates equally. He assesed what they could do, gave the tasks which were quite challenging, and then tried to make the work to best of their strengths. During the last few month he had grown to know Mai as an outstandingly competent member of his Division, perhaps not fearless, but strong rough to push through her fears and doubts for the well being of others. He remembered the younger girl who came here, her head full of questions, learning the up and downs of the trade. And while he tried to hide it, in the back of his mind he saw a Tanaka. A member of the most respected family, striving to prove herself, adamant to face any challenge without a flinch, in spite of her inner instincts... Someone who liked to keep their distance, which he respected.

But now, perhaps more then ever, he saw her as a Shinigami just like him. She was strong, she cared for the well-being of others and tried to help them...but she couldn't bottle up the distress any longer. Someone who needed more support then just reassuring words from her Taicho. As she sobbed silently into her palms, he moved in a bit closer and leaned over her body, gently wrapping his arms around her shoulder's. If she wouldn't flinch or protest, he would pull her against his own shoulder to lean her head on, gently patting her back as he said "Its ok Mai, just let it out...I know it feels awful, but once you let it out it'll only get better..." in a quite tone. He always believe in warm gestures,he hoped they wouldn't fail him now.

Mai offered no resistance toward Harupia's gesture as he wrapped his arm around her heaving shoulders. She cried into her hands, still hiding her eyes from his, even as he pulled her close. The emotions threatened to tear her throat in two, coming through in a giant, heaving cry as it broke through her barriers and bathed her hands in the sorrow, guilt.

She continued sobbing into her hands, against his shoulders, for several minutes, until the worst had come to a halt; she was still crying, distraught and incoherent, but sober enough to where she could physically breathe without feeling like she was suffocating in the emotions she unleashed onto her superior. Slowly, she twisted herself so that she rested completely against Harupia, seeking comfort in his embrace. Her hands dropped from her face as her far arm moved to wrap around his shoulder to complete the hug.

He was glad that she didn't push away the hug, though he wasn't sure if it wasn't just her not wanting to offend her superior. Still, as she let herself release the bottled up sadness, sobbing into her hands earnestly, he remained silent, saying all he felt was needed earlier. With each passing miniature she seemed to be calming herself down.

He was a bit surprise to feel her shuffle her body a bit, but he didn't have any complaints as he felt her hands wrap around his won shoulders. Well, perhaps his haori may get a bit wet but that wasn't all the concerning to him now. Holding her in the hug still, giving her a gentle reassuring squeeze, he asked "Feeling a bit better" hoping to gauge a bit how much the silence helped. With Hotaru being stable, he had nothing else to rush to at the current time.

Several minutes passed before Mai had entirely come to attention and found herself clinging to Harupia. With a dainty sniffle, she lessened the grip that she’d created once he’d given her a gentle squeeze, though she did not break the contact. “How…why…” she began, voice cracking from the dryness the crying brought about. She spoke barely above a whisper, broken words caressing the delicate formation of her white wrist. Licking her lips, she continued, “It…was a dull ache before, after my mother passed. I can’t remember feeling anything but the darkness for the longest time.

“It lessened…now and then a twinge. I can’t—” she winced, unintentionally tightening her grasp on her captain’s shoulder as the tears started once again. “I can’t remember her, just bits and flashes like a broken frame. I thought it was gone, forever, but now…now that all came back, like a full stop into the densest wall imaginable, the wolves on my still heels. I can’t remember the light.”

Harupia's embrace didn't falter as he felt her let go a bit, though he was prepared to do the same if she wanted to. But that didn't seem to be the case, quite the opposite. As she spoke on, a whole new layer has been added to the whole situation. And a much more...verbose one at that. He was a bit surprised to see her speak in such a way. Somewhat poetic, even if slightly stained via her shaken state. He never did knew she had a thing for poetry... but in general, he realized he knew very little about the girl...at least on a more personal level.

He let her finish talking about what pained her, staying silent for a bit, still hugging her to his chest. that tied in nicely with what Arashi mentioned earlier...he aid for those with a troubled spirit. The loss of a mother is something he couldn't really imagine. She couldn't even remember her...he could remember all the important people in his life...though the memory of his father's final mission, or the memory of his "friends" betraying his trust was painful in itself

After the brief silence he said "Mai-chan... I can only imagine how hard it is...I had my fair share of troubles, but you had to go almost you whole life, bearing a burden like that. I cant say though that I haven't been in the dark myself, through various points of my life. Quite literary at times..." he said with a chuckle, remembering his detention after his return to the city. Not a pleasant time.

After the brief break he would say "But, as lousy as it'll probably sound... You just have to try and seek out the light. Even if you don't remember it, you'll know when you see it. It might hurt you when you first see it, and that might put you of, but you have to push through. Searching for some light is always better then succumbing to the darkness. And remember that your not alone. You have you family, which I'm sure cares for you deeply...and as Ive said before, you'll have a Friend if me if that would be your wish..." he concluded. It always felt weird, cheering someone up after witnessing death. All you could do is go with your got, and hope it helped somehow

Mai fell silent as Harupia spoke, taking her lower lip between her teeth to keep the waterworks from starting up again. Unconsciously, she hugged him closer, knuckles bending in the soft fabric of his fresh Haori as she pulled closer. She did not know much about him, as she never had taken the time to adequately know much like she had anyone else, save those few she called friends.

She squeezed her eyes shut, sealing herself away from the light as she attempted to feel it from within. It was warm, the light, like her mother's smile, a flitting memory drawing her attention back to earlier that day (or was it yesterday? She had lost track of time). She had watched him then, felt the emotion swell in her heart, nearly bringing her to tears. The memory had served its purpose, bringing something to strive for, just as he had suggested. When she opened her eyes again, Harupia had stopped speaking and was waiting for a comment, some sort of response. The young girl nodded as she shifted, inadvertently nuzzling against the Taichou's shoulder, to remove her lips from the proximity of her wrist. Still yet to realize how tightly she was clinging, apparently so desperate for contact she had to latch herself to her Taichou to feel comfort, Mai mumbled, "I...yes. I would like that very much."

And not only because I think I love you, she thought, sighing.

He was a bit surprised to feel her grip tighten around him more still, but that didn't stop him talking. Though in the back of his head, he started to wonder if this wasn't getting inappropriate...then again, by some standards the initial embrace would have been seen at to much. So why was he feeling bad now...maybe it was a bit of guilt, that he was using the girl to make himself feel better? Nah, he couldn't think that...it was clear that she needed some comfort, and he didn't press her into it...perhaps it was him enjoying it to much. He wouldn't mind as much if it wasn't after a failed operation, with his co-worker, a member of the Tanaka family...

But then again, he offered her his friendship and she accepted it...so he had to stop thinking about her in those terms. He'd need to learn more about her...and after this moment, he wanted to regardless... After she spoke quietly he replied "I'm glad to hear that. Now, If I can suggest something, I think your tea might be getting a bit cold, haha. Of course If you...erm, don't feel like moving just yet, I don't mind...we can always make some more tea" he said with a chuckle, his cheeks getting a bit flushed, shifting his arms a bit as he still held onto her. To be perfectly honest he enjoyed this embrace quite a bit...it was simply the circumstances which made the experience and thoughts accompanying it soured it for him.

If there was any color left in Mai's face, it would have drained quickly as she blanched, body stiffening as he spoke; she had forgotten all about her tea in her stupor, and had more than likely contributed to a massive spill on her Taichou's hakama -- why else would he have mentioned it? Oh, she was so stupid, how could she have been so careless as to spill the tea that he had requested all over his lap, even if it was her own cup?

Quite suddenly, she extracted herself from the embrace, snapping back to an erect position fast enough that, if Harupia wasn't careful, he could very well end up cracking skulls. Panic etched itself onto the girl's blotched, wet face as her eyes immediately darted toward Harupia's gentle face then to his lap; her body moved in tandem with her head, scooting at first backward and then rising to skirt the edge of the couch to grant her a clean view of what she had so foolishly done. All the while she apologized incessantly, voice rising higher and higher in pitch despite the hoarseness brought about by her crying.

Tears once again welled up in her eyes as she fumbled about, even going so far as to pull out one of her white cleaning cloths from the confines of her shihakushou to dab up the spilled drink from his lap; she did not completely register what he had said, clearly, as the offending cup had been sitting cooling down on the counter across this room the entire time. Poor Mai had forgotten it as she crossed back to sit on the couch, and forgotten she had done so. When Harupia had mentioned it, the first thought was that it had spilled from her lap while she had responded to his embrace and he had been too nice to mention it, bless his heart.

Oh, this was such a terrible day.