I decided to put up something that ends up distracting me a lot of the time from making my character ha ha, nah but in general it does.

So i thought maybe someone would enjoy reading what i end up writing.


Alone

When i look around me, i see that everyone around me simply never looks towards where I'm.
I look in to someones eyes yet they don't see me and just keeps on going, all i see is there pity,
there hate their regret.

All of it is a reflection of my of own eyes , as the only feeling within me is that of being alone.
All i ever felt wast being alone, never being with someone.
Never feeling love, as i don't know what it is to be friends or anything to anyone.

All i know is how to be completely ignored by others, that is the only feeling i ever felt.
Suddenly i hear a voice, i never knew what it was to be asked something, i never knew what
to do as you reached you're hand out to me.
First i just stare at it, not knowing what i should do, grab it or push it away.

I would remain staring at it, as i suddenly grabs it.
Not sure what would happen now i just look at you with a pretty moved face.
All i see as you hold my hand is you're beautiful smile, telling me to smile as well.
My lips moves slightly trying to move just like how you're lips are.
I see how you laugh as you watch me trying to make a smile just like the one you have.

All i wish for is that this moment remains forever, it is the happiest moment in my life.
The only happy moment was when i felt your hand reach out towards me,
I don't know how to feel happy.
All i know is that i have never felt like this before, not in anyway.
You seem so different from me like we would be two different kind of beings.
All you do is sitting there with me smiling.

One thought that always passed me was why you always smiled and how you could do it
so easily compared to me, i have to fight to keep a smile on my face.
Nor can i even manage to make a smile when i am not with you.
You have given me everything that means anything to me and never asked for anything.
I know that i will return this favor to you one day, no matter what i have to repay such a debt.

Yet there's nothing i could ever do to make up for giving me a reason to exist, when there
was none within this cold, dark world with humans.
All you did was giving me a smile and let your hand reach out towards me.
What that gave me is something you could never imagine,
you gave me something so grand, you gave me life, you gave me everything,
If there was anything i could call you it would be a angel,that is the only thing i could think of.

That would even be close to be something like you, you're so much more than anything that
could possibly exist within this world, that is so cold and dark.
Just knowing of you're existence now makes me keep a smile on my face,
to try and be like you, to try to be something for this world so i can repay you someday by
helping someone like you helped me.

I hope that is something that would repay my debt someday, even if it will take all of my life
to repay you , all i know is that i for certain must repay you or i don't know what to do.







Betrayal

I know i shouldn't have, but i didn't realize what i did
Not until now, now i realize that i only used you like i was used by them.
They told me to stay with you, to become like you
To become one of the mass, yet i knew all they would do, was to destroy you all.
To kill you all, yet i always kept the lie alive until it was to late, then i couldn't tell you.

I couldn't when i realized that you were so amazing, all of you.
Something so different, yet so amazing, i could never tell that one truth that you would need
to hear, sooner or later.
I knew the time was gonna come, closing in on me and you.
In the final moments before it would happen i would tell you all to leave, to run.
To get away, and leave me behind the liar, the one that made it possible.

The one that betrayed you all, had i told you from the start, it could have been possible,
in someway maybe.
I clinged on to that one grain of hope as it all came crashing down on me, breaking me.
If they ever had believed a word i had said, i told them to run, to get away now or they
would die for nothing.

Those was the final words i spoke to make them leave, as i tried to get them to stop, that was all i would do, to slow them down for even a second could mean everything for their survival.
It seemed i couldn't do the mission, not anymore, it seemed i found something, i had never felt before here with them.
I have no idea what it was, nor will i ever know as i will disappear before the day is over.

They stop for a second as they see me, not certain if i am with them or not they wait for a moment, realizing i am against them.
As i am falling down dying, all i hope is that those that made me feel like that managed to escape, to get away from these savage beasts that are now coming for them, my people.








Chains


Sitting in the darkness, feeling it keeping its chains deeply attached in to me.
Keeping me from ever straying to far from the dark, and towards the light.
Endless in one way and incredibly short in another, waiting, and waiting.
I feel your presence, wondering why your here,

Looking in to your soft sweet eyes, and the usual smile on your face.
I feel your hand on my cheek for a moment, before i feel your lips touching mine,
I'm just so surprised by what you did, it was so different from what i knew of you
and i take a step or two backwards, saying that your worth someone so much better than i can ever hope to be or become, someone that can make you happy, to keep your smile,

it at least gives a little ease to my heart knowing that you smile, i don't want you to be sad
or anything just that your happy and fine, and not here of course. But i can't force you to leave, feeling your arms embracing me in to a hug, i respond by doing nothing
just standing there not able to do anything or tell you to leave, knowing that i can't

I accept it even if little by little, feeling how my heart is wishing to be with you for ever even if it were to do anything i could to make it happen.
Maybe the life was worth living? at least a little bit longer? at least as long you stay by my side, I'll keep fighting the darkness of my nature to not make you sad, but happy a truly happy smile, with a real meaning and not something else like a fake. If the place you wish to be is by me, then i will do all i can to make that place to become like in your dreams

Disappear


All i want know is to forget about you, to never see you again.
I wonder what happened, I dont really know but its not the same anymore.
I don't mind disappearing , yet i just can't do it.

I'm here standing on the edge, just one small step further and it is all over for me.
Why not end it all, it would make it all so much easier than to keep going,
wishing to forget it all to never remember what i once knew and felt.
I close my eyes, and prepares to take the final step to end it all.

As i feel how i am held in place as i was taking my step in to oblivion.
I look back towards, what held me back and sees you, all i do is ask you why?
Why did you stop me from falling from my final step?
That was all that escaped my mouth as i looked towards you,

feeling what i had shut in to take the step boil up,
the despair, the regret all of it boiled up as i had been pulled away from taking that step.
It is my choice, why does someone have to interfer with what i do?
I DONT WANT TO LIVE IN THIS WORLD! ALL I WISH IS TO FADE SILENTLY!